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US Government Programs That Went Horribly Wrong


The government is necessary and most of the
time they should be trusted — at least (and especially) your local government. You need police, firefighters, and even bureaucrats
and tax collectors. However, sometimes the government makes it
hard for people to trust them. Whether through malice, or just plain incompetence,
sometimes the United States government‘s best laid plans and programs went horribly
wrong, and caused massive damage… or even deaths. In today’s article, we will go over 10 programs
or agencies that have caused serious and lasting harm. 10. Smokey The Bear Helped Create More Massive
Wildfires Smokey the Bear is one of the most well known
mascots of all time, except instead of being the mascot for a major sports team, Smokey
is the mascot for United States natural parks, and all of US wildlife and forests in general. Smokey was conceived by the United States
government decades ago in order to spread awareness about the importance of putting
out your fires, especially old campfires and the sparks from your cigarettes. His famous line “Only YOU can prevent forest
fires” is catchy and known by many outside of States. However, despite the best intentions of the
government, Smokey the Bear has actually done a lot more harm than good at this point, and
with how much death and destruction recent wildfires have caused, the entire thing is
no laughing matter. Because the campaign worked a bit too well,
people became so obsessed with putting out tiny brush fires — even natural ones — that
not enough natural clearing was occurring. This meant that when a wildfire does start
now, it usually has way too much fuel to help it keep moving, whereas otherwise it might
have choked itself off because dry brush was regularly burned out naturally. 9. The Fast And Furious Scandal Ended Up Giving
More Guns To The Cartels Fast and the Furious was a scandal that caused
a lot of damage to the Obama administration’s reputation, and especially to his attorney
general Eric Holder. The federal government knows the cartels often
come across the border, buy lots of guns, and then sneak them across the border again
to use in wars with other drug dealers and even their own government. Now, the United States government has long
tried to prevent this, but the Obama administration got another idea. They figured that if they knew this reliably
happened so much, instead of putting all efforts to stop it and get gun stores to be a bit
more vigilant, they actually decided to pull a trick on the cartels. They allowed a whole bunch of gun sales, with
the plan to track the guns so they could figure out where in Mexico (or elsewhere) they were
ending up, and who ultimately was using them. Now, this could have led to valuable intelligence,
and if they had managed to track the people down and get the guns back, it would have
been a successful operation. Unfortunately, it became a scandal after it
became public that the government had completely lost track of the guns, making the entire
operation a complete waste that just made the cartels more powerful. 8. The War On Drugs Is A Colossal Failure And
An Enormous Boondoggle The war on drugs was started back in the Nixon
era, and ramped up to even more of a fevered pitch during the Reagan years. In fact, Nancy Reagan, the First Lady at the
time, even made it her mission in life to go on a campaign against drugs, with her famous
slogan, “Just say no.” (Something that basically never worked for
any teenager under peer pressure… ever). The idea was that if we put enough government
dollars into restrictive laws and prison sentences, cracked down hard on the gangs and on individual
dealers, and went all out against the drugs as if we are actually at war, we would make
a huge dent and get lots of people off drugs. However, the truth is that all the facts suggest
that the “War on Drugs” was a colossal waste of time and money. Despite all the arguably unfair prison sentences
for small drug offenses, the bigger issue is simply that the program has not been effective. Even though an incredible amount of time and
money has been spent, evidence shows that over the years, access to drugs has become
cheaper, the cartels and drug dealers are making more money, more people are doing drugs,
and the problem is actually getting worse. It doesn’t help that legal drugs like opioids
helped create an entirely new black market for getting high and ruining your life. 7. The Housing Projects Cemented Segregation All the way back in the FDR years, the United
States of America saw a need for more low income housing for poor urban citizens — which
is often code for black people. Now, there were a lot of ways this could be
done, but the government did it really the wrong way entirely. Obviously, we don’t know for sure what their
intentions were, but the effect was devastating for the black community, and helped codify
segregation permanently into the very infrastructure of the United States. The housing projects were all put in the same
city blocks, and were closely packed together. They were not spread out within different
zip codes throughout the big cities, as would make more sense, and none of them were built
in slightly wealthier zones, to help uplift the poor people coming to live in the projects. Instead, they chose more run-down parts of
the city, and closely packed the housing projects together. Because cities’ tax revenues are based on
the riches of its citizens, small cities that have a lot of housing projects tend to have
very little money to fix anything, have nice schools, or even keep the city up. And because moving is so expensive, most people
born in the projects will simply never get out. 6. Poisoning People During Prohibition The prohibition era is a well known time from
America’s history, and perhaps one of the biggest mistakes in modern history. It is well known that a huge new class of
drug cartels spawned due to prohibition, and it didn’t even work. The federal government was annoyed that people
kept finding ways to flout their decree, and wanted to force people to behave — or else. They devised a plan to teach people that alcohol
WAS bad for them, even if they didn’t think so, and even if they had to put bad stuff
in alcohol that wasn’t usually in it. So, they figured if they poisoned a bunch
of bootleg alcohol, people would get sick stop drinking due to the dangers. They poisoned a bunch of alcohol from industrial
sources and denatured it, making it unsafe to drink; then, they just waited, knowing
the bootleggers usually used those sources. Tens of thousands got sick and thousands died,
at least according to most estimates. The government did not admit until later what
they did, and it is hard to know for sure just how many hospital stays and deaths were
caused by this irresponsible and deadly action by the United States government. 5. FEMA Keeps Failing At Basic Disaster Management
Over And Over Again FEMA is the Federal Emergency Management Agency,
but mismanaging things seems to be their real purview. Back in the Bush years, FEMA was called out
for their terrible response to Hurricane Katrina, and many people still believe that with more
competent leadership at the top of the agency, more people and property could have been saved. More recently, FEMA made it into the news
because of its poor response to the crisis in Puerto Rico. FEMA brought a whole bunch of bottled water
(about a football field’s worth all stacked up) and meant to distribute it to people in
need. Unfortunately, this huge supply of water,
instead of going to the people who needed it, rotted outside in the crazy heat, and
became completely unusable. Desperate locals were forced to carefully
ration their drinking water from springs and other sources instead, as the bottled water
could no longer be trusted as safe. Unfortunately, while the agency is necessary
and important, it needs leadership that is better at managing emergencies — with competent
leadership, so many more lives would be saved when disasters happen. 4. No Child Left Behind Left Our Children Worse
Off Than Ever Before Back in the Bush years, we had an update to
our current education plan that was dubbed “No Child Left Behind.” For the most part, it was a continuation of
a previous policy with a few changes, but that didn’t make it a good idea. The point of No Child Left Behind was to force
more standardized testing, and punish underperforming schools. The system was meant to encourage underperforming
schools to get their act together, and not fail to properly teach their students. However, an emphasis on a one size fits all
approach like standardized testing doesn’t play to people’s specific needs or the needs
of that community, and forces the teachers to mostly “teach for the test,” which
can mean not emphasizing a lot of important knowledge. To make matters worse, No Child Left Behind
doesn’t give any funding to help underperforming schools, which is what they really need. If a school isn’t doing well, the vast majority
of the time the reason has to do with not having enough funds. If a school is punished for not doing well
enough, if anything they will only do even worse, and the system will continue to fail
our children and leave lots of them behind. 3. The Forced Busing Programs Were Done Clumsily
And Didn’t Have Much Impact Recently in the Democratic presidential debates,
the candidates were talking about the busing programs meant to help integrate black children
into white public schools and vice versa. While the issue brought up a contentious debate
between the candidates and a couple of interesting soundbites, there is reason to believe the
program was not at all helpful (which may be why it was ultimately shut down). While some black students did get to benefit
from going to some nicer schools, it also caused some resentment for people sent to
schools far away from them that weren’t as nice. The truth is that to fix our issues involving
schools, we need to make sure schools in poorer areas are properly funded, and aren’t relying
on the tax revenue of their local city. Shifting a few students around doesn’t change
the fact that a school underperforms because it has no funding, and only helps a few students,
and hurts others who are moved to the low income school. In the end, we have to fix the infrastructure
problems inherent in the system, or we are only assisting a few people here and there
— which does nothing to ameliorate the overall problem. 2. The Laws Regarding Service Animals Have Created
Massive Confusion Recently you may have seen debates on the
news about bringing service animals onboard flights, as well as the more dubious “emotional
support animals.” Technically, all animals are “emotional
support” as that is the whole point of having a pet, and animals with that designation don’t
usually go through any special training. However, the whole thing has become a nightmare
for hotel owners, airliners and many other businesses. The problem is how the law is worded. The ADA protects disabled people and ensures
that service animals are allowed to go with them because they need the animal — it is
essential. It’s not a pet; it performs actual, hugely
importance services. However, emotional support animals are not
protected by the ADA at all. This has created a huge problem, and has been
a boon for scammers, due to the other part of the law. In order to ensure a blind person or someone
similar isn’t turned away because they forgot some paperwork, you are not allowed to demand
proof of paperwork that an animal is a service animal. Now, you could probably get away with arguing
for exotic animals, as the bar for proof is sensibly higher, since they aren’t really
trained. Several airlines seem to have legally gotten
away with turning away that kind of nonsense, so there is precedent for it. However, if you just own a cat or a dog, you
can claim it is a service animal (and not emotional support), maybe even put a harness
on it to make it seem more legit, and while they can ask you what kind of service it helps
you with, they are not allowed to ask for proof. The truth is that the law could use an update. It was made long before people had smartphones
or the internet, so if you forgot a document and someone demanded proof you could be in
real trouble. However, now, with a smartphone on hand, you
could easily present evidence in seconds. 1. MKUltra Failed To Produce Results, Apart From
Alleged Deaths MKUltra was an infamous government program
that started back in the 1950s, and was the government’s attempt to find some kind of
useful mind control or other applications for war, and intelligence gathering. The program lasted for decades, and experimented
with everything from mind altering drugs like LSD, to various technological applications
for brainwashing or mind control. Many conspiracy theories have sprung from
the program about what they did learn, and some people think the government is regularly
using techniques from the project to control specific people or even the masses. However, the government claims that the project
was shuttered after decades of work because it simply didn’t provide useful results. The experiments allegedly caused a handful
of deaths, as well as one by alleged suicide due to delusions from LSD exposure, and the
government subjected some inmates to experimentation — without their knowledge — to hallucinogens
like LSD. While these tests may have harmed some people,
it wasn’t even worth it if what the government claims was true. They were unable to find a way to control
people’s minds, and if anything just got a lot of people a lot more interested in checking
out that LSD stuff. And even if the conspiracy theorists are right
and they did learn something useful, drugging inmates against their will, and allegedly
causing the deaths of multiple people, makes the whole thing something less than a victory
for the federal government.

Stephen Childs

100 Comments

  1. You can ask for proof, you cannot require proof as far as the service animalthing is concerned.

  2. Smokey the Bear: Only You Can Prevent Forest Fires!

    Charmin Bears: We Love Shittin’!

  3. Environmentalist and PETA stopped the intentional burning and clearing of bush and brush to stop an animal from being hurt. Not the Smokey aid campaign. What a liberal crock. That is one huge factor in California especially near neighborhoods. So in the end, many mant more animals are killed because of the backfire. No pun intended.

  4. You can just print something off the internet? I have an emotional support animal for my mental health and I had to get something written up from my psychologist and other hoops to jump through and that was just to have it at my apartment. Here I could have just printed something off the internet? Wish I new that

  5. The scariest words spoken in the USA are, "Hi, I'm from the government and I'm here to help you."

  6. we need these agencies to protect, foster
    & preserve the leadership during disasters, emergencies, shortages etc.

  7. That’s crazy with The no child left behind act usually as little kids u don’t understand these policies. I was a second grader back when it was implemented & I even knew it was a horrible educational economic financial tragedy

  8. The War on Drugs was lost the day the stupid and idiotic War was declared, better it would be to legalize and have the government license and sell the stuff, then use the revenue for rehab.

  9. I lived in Louisiana during Katrina. I live in Oregon now, and people up here don't understand why I hate FEMA so much.

  10. 1 "MK Ultra was useless"
    This is what the government would say, if they managed to get useful results.

  11. Do you have any idea how long it would take bottle water to rot? I love your videos your one of my favorites but you need to check your facts.

  12. It's taken 12 years for problems with statins to be even considered in the UK. “The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.” (Spock – Star Trek). Which is fine if you are not one of the few. I was and there are many, many more like me. There was no monitoring of side effects and even now the National Health Service seems to ignore them. You never spoke a truer word Mr Spock.

  13. US Govt: we love freedom!
    Also US Govt: lets round up all asian people because we’re in war against japan

  14. This video was GREAT. You hit the nail on the head 10 times in a row! (I know that was cheesy but oh well lol)

  15. It's not that the Programs failed,
    it's that the people working for the program, failed.
    Stupid people are stupid, the job they work won't change that.

  16. Saying no does work, as a teen I turned them down all the time till I graduated then I started smoked pot

  17. Actually the large part of not requiring proof of service dogs has to do with the privacy of the disabled person.

  18. What about the Tuskegee Experiment or any of the gov-collabs on eugenics with the Birch Society and others?

  19. And it's fantastic that the government is – making Murica great again – they just forgot to flush the toilet after they drained the swamp into Washington.

  20. I was subbing in the early 2000s. Pretty much every teacher, especially the special education ones, detested NCLB.

  21. Somebody used my tidbit about us (humans and firefighters) being the worst thing to happen to wildfires and forestry I mentioned in the comments the other day. Awesome!

  22. MK Ultra did produce results. This channel sucks more than a 10 year old boy trapped in the vatican.

  23. Most suck due to one thing, PERCEPTION. They need to hire an intelligent less fortunate person who currently lives the life of the people the program is supposed to aid. If the wealthy people running government could help the less fortunate, it wouldn't still be a losing battle in 2020.

  24. "failed" doesn't even scratch the damn surface when it comes to aid for Puerto Rico

  25. WRONG the big problem in schools is the teacher Union not money
    It costs much less in private school and students learn MUCH more

  26. Flu shots are the new MK Ultra. (Not 100% serious but think about it!) plus, I homeschooled my kids through the No Child Left Behind era, that’s why they’re all successful 😏

  27. ADA laws about service animals are a huge disaster for people with actual service animals too. I have a service dog that helps me with serious health problems and I wish the laws were more restrictive because fake service animals are everywhere. They are poorly behaved for being in public and they give business owners a bad taste for service animals overall. I'd gladly go through the extra steps that better laws would require if it meant fewer fakes out there.

  28. Just say no may have failed.
    Shoot talking to your kids about drugs doesn’t always stop them from using either.
    They will or they won’t.
    I have 5 kids and the first two used. When I was younger I told them don’t do drugs they’re bad for you (even though I had in my youth).
    With my next three, I said, “you know what? They’re fun. Super fun. Not gonna lie. Here’s the problem as I see it…” and broke down my take.
    THAT seems to have done the trick. They know they’re missing something but they also know the possible consequences. I say possible because not everyone gets f’d up. However, I’ve never known anyone ~ and I know billionaires ~ many millionaires and a whole host of successful influential people, but I’ve never know anyone that reached their fullest potential while using. They may have done well smoking or snorting but always catapulted forward and increased whatever they were doing when they stopped ~ 100%.
    So, you can use. Might be okay and even do pretty well but I don’t want to know I could have been or done better but threw it away for a couple of weekends of partying.

  29. Genius! Get a blind person to take out their smartphone and show people their documents for their service animal. I can't see anything wrong with this idea! Pun intended.

  30. America isn’t ready to talk about the projects or the damage it’s done to future generations, they put people of color down and then ask why can’t they get up like they can

  31. My country's government can not even keep track of nuclear weapons in they're own country so how they thought up they're "plan" to track thousands of guns going across the border I'll never understand 🤔🤣

  32. Tuskegee Syphilis Experiment – and yes, I know you did a "today I found out" on this

  33. Now I have to look up “boondoggle” and put it in my daily life. Just to F with people.

  34. Just say no was a joke. I remember going to assemblies at school for the DARE program and then smoking pot with my friends after school. Few took it seriously and it really only heightened the curiosity surrounding drugs and alcohol. We were told to just say no, but we asked why?

  35. Because of 'no child left behind' instead of getting needed help for math, I was taken from Algebra 2 and put into 'computer math'. Which literally all we did was a crossword and turn that in. I needed one math credit to graduate and instead of helping me understand, the gave up on me. I work in a kitchen now. And I still have some issue with higher math. I did graduate college with an associate's in culinary. The professors were able to explain how to do the different sections of math in a way I understood. Still have trouble with anything above Algebra 2 though.

  36. On June 5th-6th, 2010, in Lake Township outside of Toledo, Ohio, 4 Ef4 tornadoes touched down overnight. Two of them demolished homes, a church, the high school and damage to the elementary and middle schools, and crushed the main building that housed the police/fire/ambulance and 911 center. Not a single vehicle was spared. Police cars, SUVs, fire and rescue trucks, and every single school bus in the entire fleet. The other two touched down in the town of Millbury, Ohio, and went straight down Main St., demolishing homes and killing 7 people.
    That same night, one tornado, an EF3, touched down in Dundee, Michigan. They had relatively minimal damage and no casualties.
    FEMA granted Dundee with assistance and money. We in Lake Township received absolutely nothing. Because of that decision, homes half-standing, the shell of what used to be the high school, and other debris remained where it was throughout the summer, even into the next school year. It wad psychologically and emotionally devasting to see this day after day just driving down the road. You couldn't get around it, the tornado path followed alongside our State Route 795 that connected three suburbs to the interstate to drive into Toledo. For the first time in my life, I saw our divided political parties that represent Ohio agree about one fact and work together to try to get an appeal on the government's decision. No go. The school stood as was, through all of summer (and all the rain and storms), into the fall, and into the winter (where the snowpack began collapsing sunken rooftops left behind and floors that were exposed). I had to go into that building in the late summer to get photos for the insurance company. The insurance company finally caved and paid out 100% and the school debris was finally removed in May 2011.
    EDIT: To anyone who isn't sure, NW Ohio is not and has never been included in "Tornado Alley", which consists of states in the Midwest which see multiple tornadoes yearly. These tornados, including the one in Dundee, were complete surpises, even throwing our meteorologists on air that evening off their balance. On WTOL 11, the head of meteorology was literally screaming on live television for people to take cover NOW, this was not a false alarm and this is not a small storm. The last time, before 2010, that an EF4 touched down anywhere in NW Ohio was 1919, and according to records, it was only on the ground for a maximum of two minutes.

  37. We spend more money per student than almost all other countries. Throwing money around to solve our declining education system isn't working. There is plenty of reasons for failing schools, but generally, money isn't one of them.

  38. Regarding the Puerto Rico crisis: I was working as a truck driver when a call was put out for drivers to volunteer to be sent to Puerto Rico to transport the necessary supplies. Like the video points out, there were actually far more supplies than actually needed, but they weren't being distributed. While there's all kind of theories as to why, the bottom line is that so many American truck drivers volunteered that some had to be turned away. The problem is that when they showed up, they basically weren't used. I know several drivers who were basically told "We'll call you when we need you."

  39. Does anyone know where Simon gets his shirts? I seriously want that one lol

  40. How about Gaspode, the thinking brain dog?
    He can talk his own way into venues. 😀

  41. First off.. Please explain to me why government is necessary.. Average people with titles by they're names telling other average people what to do?!.. Makes sense I guess lmfao.. Also the war on drugs lol.. Its laughable at best.. How were tax payers dollars and government programs supposed to stop drugs when the government were the ones originally pumping drugs into the country lol.. The war on drugs has always been a war on people period….

  42. As far as I've heard, a lot of real service animals don't actually have documentation because it's just not a thing they come with. Don't hold me to that though.

  43. Easy for us the audience to criticize programs, perhaps we put all this creative energy that point out failure into suggesting real ideas that could help.

  44. Government agency that caused massive damage or death? Why isn't the presidency on this list?

  45. No one should trust American politicians especially democrats or commies whatever you want to call them

  46. The GOVERMENT is not any of those people they work for the people of the u.s. The u.s. Government Is aid family's with dependent children, child suport, the division of youth and family services, this is what they have done, sent infected blankets to native tribes that had smallpox in it, they built projects for African Americans, infected the air the food and the water with pesticides, brought guns, alcohol and marijuana into the United States in the early 1700s, made most of the Levies in New Orleans that fell apart, bought to planes to destroy the world trade centers, built infected trailers that were used in New Orleans that were infected with asbestos, gave cocaine to the fbi, and drugs and alcohol to the actors, and child actors, Record producers singers and even have been known to do experiments with LSD on the FBI, and apparently they have no regards for humanity, they have wanted you and all people to die, they hire people to kidnap children take them and put them countries and used as sex slaves, if you are reserving AFDC and they know your pregnant they well notify the Dyfs and after your child is born and take the infant away and you never see them agin, they select and choose what children to take and they have been doing this sense 1964, and really it's not up to fema in water conditions that happened in New Orleans it was the US Coast Guard's jurisdiction, they safe Guard the waters around land by the water, this should tell you a lot about the so called United states government contractors claiming to work for United States military. G

  47. The source of all these problems can summed up in a nutshell as follows…
    Political favors for large donors…
    Presidential elect gets X amount of money from a person for a position…
    Resulting in people with no idea about something in a position they shouldn't be in…

  48. Force more spending, punish for not complying, yet do not provide any funding. Sounds exactly like Putin's Russia (specifically his "May decrees"), but turns out, Bush junior was just as dumb.

  49. You left off Lyndon Johnson’s “ Great Society” and the other welfare programs that have locked millions of individuals, families and generations into systemic poverty. Individual motivation and self-worth are crushed over time. There is no requirement for education, job training, job searching or counseling. Those who check in rarely check out.

  50. When schools fail, it is rarely due to a lack of funds. Lack of standards, parents who don't care or are absent and other similar issues are almost always the issue.

  51. Fema has been collecting body bags , that is best at, they would be the last place you would want to go to in an emergency

  52. If there's a 'War on _______' you know the US government will utilise it to cause more war!

  53. As Obama kept saying, the FAST and FURIOUS GUNS for the CARTELS was originally a BUSH program, like the giving of billions to huge massively rich corporations, so they wouldn't have to re-organize themselves, that he simply "Continued". The only difference was that Bush's people worked WITH the Mexican government, and put electronic trackers into the few guns they did release. No, Obama and Holder refused to do those , and many did figure it was just a way to try to get Federal Troops into the (NOW Much more armed) violent border states so the "Government" could take over control of everything in those states that had voted against Obama so loudly.

  54. Screw emotional support animals. Screw anyone who tries to bring a peacock on a plane. Or someone who tries to bring a pig into a restaurant. It’s gotten so far out of hand.

  55. Simon, I hate to break it to you, but throwing money at education does NOTHING to improve it. What would improve it, would be the ability to fire "educators" that don't. The problem there is the unions. You can't fire them, as they have tenure, and the more they have, the more the unions are in your face.

  56. Fema also can't just go into an area. One of the problems was that the Gov and Mayor were not asking for aid until later

  57. 1.) All the talking points used to blame liberals in Kalifornia/Kommiefornia for the recent wildfires. Telling people to be careful of where they throw their cigarette butts and to put out their campfires responsibly is not to blame for the policy of suppressing all fires. In reality, the policy developed over a century following some horrific wildfires that killed many. It came under question when Yellowstone caught fire in the late 1980s. Now, controlled burns and other fuel management strategies are used to prevent fires from reaching the canopy. When you hear somebody say that a fire is because environmentalist won't allow controlled burns, you know that person is lying or is ignorant of reality because they are just repeating some nonsense they were told.

    2.) Fast and Furious was an operation specific to the Arizona office of the ATF and was part of an ongoing practice that had started in 2005. It was not "an Obama administration idea." Here, the agents and the Arizona US Attorney stuffed it up. Especially the US Attorney who had not sought indictments requested. The right has been using this as a cudgel to beat up two black guys allowed to have power (Holder and Obama) into 2017.

    5.) You may notice a pattern here. Republicans tend to treat the FEMA directorship like an ambassadorship to a glamorous post and hand them to political friends. It wasn't just Bush 43. His dad and Ronald Reagan did the same at the beginning of their terms as well. They just didn't get handed a city with breached seawalls and dikes. Democrats have hired disaster management experts. Clinton even made it a Cabinet-level post. Notice how much better Hurricane Sandy was handled in 2012.

  58. I live here in Vegas where we regularly see temperatures above 112 degrees our water doesn't go bad

  59. I did volunteer work for a local disaster preparedness group. FEMA was supposed to oversee it but they were a waste. They had concentrated almost entirely on nuclear war and hardly noticed any of the disasters that actually happen to people on a yearly basis.

  60. Smokey Bear was an actual bear cub from Capitan, NM. He was badly burned in a forest fire and rescued after climbing a tree or a pole. Bless him.

  61. MK Ultra is overrated but seems to make every list in the world. Something akin to Citizen Kane being on every best list for fear of appearing unsophisticated.

  62. Tm there will be a top ten best things the CIA did once the CIA gets ahold of you

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