31

Trump’s Border Wall Visit & A Government Admission About UFOs | The Daily Show


President Trump’s trip to the
West Coast. Yesterday, the president
popped into California to host some fundraisers,
talk about housing issues and stock up on edibles. But easily the highlight
of his trip was getting to visit his favorite child–
the border wall. WOMAN: President Trump took time
from a fundraising trip to visit a chunk of border wall
in Otay Mesa, California. He met with several construction workers and was invited
to sign the wall, which he did, with a Sharpie. He boasted about the wall
calling it, the “Rolls-Royce”
of border barriers. It’s designed to absorb heat,
so it’s extremely hot. The wall is, uh… You won’t
be able to touch it. So if they’re gonna climb it,
they’re gonna have to bring hoses and waters,
uh, water. And we don’t know where
they’re gonna hook it up, because there’s not a lot
of water out here. If you think you’re gonna cut it
with a blowtorch, that doesn’t work,
because you hit concrete. This wall can’t be climbed.
This is very, very hard. We had 20 mountain climbers. That’s all they do.
They love to climb mountains. And this was the one
that was hardest to climb. And so begins season one
of Mexican Ninja Warrior. (laughter) (applause and cheering) I will say,
if you forget the xenophobia and all of the racism,
it’s pretty cute how excited Trump gets
about his wall, right? He reminds me
of little kids bragging about what they’ve built
out of Lego. Have you ever seen them? You know, they’d be like,
“It’s super strong. “And this is for the policemen,
and they can’t break it. “And this one shooted
the lasers. And there’s a booby trap
for when the Mexicans come.” (laughter) It’s also funny how Trump
signed the wall with a Sharpie, like he’s worried we’re not
gonna know who built it. Like… This man is so insecure. No other president physically
signs their accomplishments. Like-like, Abraham Lincoln
didn’t go up to the slaves like, “You’re free!
Now hold still! Hold still. There you go.” Now, the problem for Trump is
that sometimes his enthusiasm
actually gets him in trouble, because he gets carried away and he says secrets
that he’s not supposed to. One thing we haven’t mentioned
is technology. They’re wired
so that we will know if somebody’s trying
to break through. And you may want to discuss that
a little bit, General. Sir, there could be some merit
in not discussing it. Okay. I like that. -That was a great answer.
-Yeah. I’ll just tell you,
they’re wired. Okay? They’re wired. Again. Tell me that’s not adorable. Trump is so excited
about the wall that people have to stop him
from explaining its weaknesses. He’s like,
“There’s a door that opens. “If you cut the wire right here,
you cut the right one, “but we won’t tell them
it’s the red one. We won’t tell them.” And kudos.
Kudos to that guard. He’s just so slick. “Uh, there could be some merit
in not discussing that, sir.” That is the nicest way I’ve ever heard someone say,
“Shut the (bleep) up.” (laughter, applause) That’s what that was. (applause and cheering) We should… we should all start
using that, right? Yeah, next time
you tell your boss that your missed work
for a funeral, and your co-worker’s like, “But
you said you were at the beach,” you could be like, “There could be some merit
in not discussing that, Bob.” (laughter) All right, let’s move on to an alarming new report
about air travel. If you have a flight coming up,
you may want to be careful about what you drink,
’cause a new study looked at the water safety
from a dozen major airlines. And those airlines
with the cleanest water are Alaska Airlines, Allegiant,
Hawaiian Air, Frontier and Southwest, while the dirtiest water
is found on board Delta, American, United, JetBlue
and Spirit Airlines. That might surprise you, right? The study suggests sticking
with bottled water on planes and avoiding the coffee
and tea. You can also use hand sanitizer instead of washing your hands
in the bathroom. Yes. Turns out if you’ve been
drinking water on a plane, your bowels may be in danger. And honestly,
this was surprising to me, ’cause I always knew
that the water in the bathroom wasn’t
for drinking, right? -You use that to wash your feet,
but… -(laughter) I didn’t know that the water they serve you
can also be dirty. Like, how does it get that bad? Like, do they take the
hot towels from business class and squeeze the water into cups
for economy? Is that what they do? You’re just like,
“Hmm. What-what is that taste?” “Sir, that is the taste
of success.” (laughter) And that list was
pretty interesting as well. You’ve got Alaskan at the top, and then all the way
at the bottom is Spirit Airlines. And I know, I know some people
think Spirit should be ashamed that they’re number ten,
but to be honest, I was impressed that they
have water on their flights. Yeah, normally,
the only refreshments on Spirit -are your own tears of regret.
-(laughter) Spirit Airlines. Our water
is the least of your problems. (laughter, applause) And finally… tomorrow is September 20, the big day when everyone
is supposed to raid Area 51. -(whooping)
-And although this thing just started out as a joke,
it turns out they might actually
find something. NEWSWOMAN: The U.S. Navy
now confirms UFO videos made public
by The New York Times and a UFO research group
back in 2017 are the real deal. Images of that rotating thing
captured by U.S. Navy aircraft. Sensors locking in
on the target. Commander David Fravor
saw it firsthand during a training mission,
describing it: like a 40-foot-long Tic Tac. The ability to hover
over the water and then start a vertical climb
from basically zero up towards about 12,000 feet and then accelerate in less
than two seconds and disappear is… something
I had never seen in my life. The Navy says it still doesn’t
know what the objects are, and officials
aren’t speculating. Holy shit. I hope that’s a UFO,
because if it’s a giant Tic Tac, -that’s even creepier.
-(laughter) What, a giant Tic Tac
just flying around in the sky? But do you guys understand
what’s happening here? The U.S. government
is officially confirming– officially–
that in 2017 the Navy saw a UFO. And I hope,
I really hope it isn’t aliens, because it would be a really bad
time for them to visit Earth. Yeah. Can you imagine?
They’ll land and be like, “Take us to your leader,”
and we’ll be like, “Uh, sorry,
he’s signing a wall right now.”

Stephen Childs

31 Comments

  1. Why don't you talk about our President Trump is a thousand times better than Obama. Ohio Trump has done more for our kind Humanity then the pass 5 + presidents as done. By the way your jokes are stupid.

  2. The Nazis in Germany used alienslife to help fight their Naziswar in history and later retreated to area 51 hybrid nesting grounds. This is why all dogs don't go to heaven , especially not this dog German Shepherd who will learn to sit and stay just like his master military or police puppets and follow command. It wasn't Adam and Eve who bit that🍎mulipulating the animals. This dog got more blood on paws than Daniel between the Roman's lion dens same k9 teeth.

  3. 😊😊😊😊😊😊😊 this black dude is such a pawn for propaganda it sickens me

  4. Gimme A rope ladder and i'll be on the next side in less than 5 minutes rolls royce my ass. We fucking have mines and electric fences that successfully deters away those trying to cross illegally. But turns out the fences weren't tall enough so we just threw them over or dug a ditch under. That means avoiding mines though which is not a really easy thing to do both physically n mentally 🤣

  5. Raiding Area 51 is another thing Americans were all talk about and zero action

  6. I find it funny how TRUMP 2020 is a 100x better of a president then Obummer was. And all you liberal retards respected the position for him, but won't for TRUMP 2020. SO YOU KNOW CANADA IS LESS THAN 5 DAYS TRAVEL FROM ANY OF THE LOWER 48. the love hypocrite pussy liberals, who support PEDOPHILIA, and a communist Dumocratic party. YOU CAN LEAVE AT ANYTIME. THIS COUNTRY DONT NEED YOU AND MORE, WE DONT WANT YOUR ASSES HERE.

  7. LMFAO!!, the last part got me good. "he's signing a wall right now" 😂😂😂

  8. South Africans don't think that Trevor is funny, they think that he is Sarcastic.
    I think that he is a sarcastic Bully

  9. I don't understand the mockery around the building of the wall.
    It called sovereignty.
    People that enter a country illegally drai. The resources of that country and they drain the tax payers money.
    They fail to find good jobs and then they turn to crime to survive.
    Here in South Africa, we have poor border control and an influx of people from surrounding countries.
    They hijack old building and are in volved in a lot of crime for survival.
    Trevor Noah will do and day anything for a joke.

  10. "Thank-You" US border patrol, ICE,
    US Military, President Trump, and the supportive American people as we
    desperately need to improve security and the wall/technologies: such as
    cameras, solar, lights, fiber optics sensors tunnel-digging sensors. The USA
    spent 244 billion on illegal immigration in just 2019, a 10-20 billion dollar
    wall to reduce crime is a wise investment. “The Do Nothing House” needs to be
    taken back from obstructiveness corrupt DemoRats, so that the House of
    Representatives will fund more money to complete the Trump team's ideas of wall
    infrastructure and security, to a reasonable level for the safety of all
    Americans and help slow down some of the deep state CIA motivated drug-running
    every year, Over 500 metric tons’ illegal drugs consumed every year, bye
    children & adults in the USA and much of these drugs cross our borders
    illegally. The wall helps reduce child abduction/ abuse/ trafficking, rape and
    reduce, 500,000 to 1,300,000 new illegal immigrants every year, weapons, and
    crime in the USA. This will slow down the deep state corruption or NWO from
    destroying the United States' sovereignty and controlling our future. We also need
    to reelect Trump 2020-2024, President Trump should win by a landslide again so
    we can improve the wall and Americans' safety. We must also institute national
    Voters ID law before so we can stop the estimated 11,000,000 illegal votes that
    were cast in 2016. Thankyou American people for help fund the wall and Thank
    you to Mexico President for putting more troops on both their borders to
    protect the "American Mexico border crossings from illegal
    activities."

  11. They get hot…they didn't think about the ecosystem…that will kill local animals…and can this add to global warming? ?

    Airline: companies cutting corners and continue increasing prices.

  12. The more science advances, the less of a crap more people will give about UFO footage. UFO does not mean automatically mean aliens; it's something flying that has not properly been identified, As drones become so widespread that people are 3-D printing them now, a photo of some weird object or lights in the sky is just not going to mean much mystery.

  13. Donald is a big joke for Americans!!
    He need to be impeach and removed!

  14. Watches a documentary on El Chapo Guzman… Discovers they are digging tunnels, not climbing walls… Mind blown

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *