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TOP COMEDIANS on America’s Got Talent! | Got Talent Global


This is Amazing, i wouldnt miss this for…. the w0rld lo lol lol lol lol squiggity wiggity woo Channels well I was gonna babysit two
little girls I really like Disney Channel let’s talk about that for a
minute I am NOT a high school graduate I haven’t even been to high school I don’t
have a driver’s license I can’t even sit in the front seat I’m still on safety
scissors people are going to leave your beloved child the one who was carrying
on your name to the next generation with me my only qualification to be a babysitter
is that I used to be a baby crazy that’s like saying hey you’re sick a lot
you want to be my doctor the host of a thank you everyone! I said I where here in it so I watch all
my movies and TV shows with the subtitles on my favorite is when the
subtitle says indistinct chatter oh thank god it’s not just me then I those
indistinct for everybody fate me and my partner actually recently broke up thank
you thanks but got really quiet in here for a second or did it no it did I heard
that here unite yeah now I know why it got quiet though right it’s because I
said partner as soon as somebody says partner and you don’t know them well you
can’t even focus on the rest of the conversation you’re just trying to solve
the mystery mm-hmm partner huh you’re all looking at me trying to crack the
case right now I can feel it you’re like well he’s kinda got a list but that
could be the hearing impaired don’t know what to atribute that too
no me and me and my girlfriend broke up to clear up that mystery thank you
because I realized I was gay thank you let’s finish can ask you cuz I actually
do want to know are you gay I know really but but my boyfriend is no
no he’s not gay either we’re just having a good time but hello hello my name is Derrick Santos
you seem a little bit nervous are you not at all haha
Derrick what do you do for a living well I’m a security guard
a recent charity guard yep and what is it you guard a empty parking lot so I
imagine having that job at the parking lot you’ve got to be great with the
ladies of my career oh yeah you can’t tell um do you have a girlfriend I do
have a girlfriend she’s here Oh No kidding yep somewhere out there
and and and still looking for are you in a serious relationship yes well I like
to think it is how many years have you been with it three years three whole
years are you starting to think about perhaps proposing or I would like to I
mean that’s why I’m here I think I’d like to be able to propose to my
girlfriend with more than just onion ring right in other words you don’t have
money for a ring so you’re waiting chances of money now what about her
parents are they disappointed in her decision to debut very much so is it the
job or is it your just your demeanor I mean being a comedian I don’t think
they’d even that wouldn’t it be great revenge if you could win the million
dollars oh yeah and you’re this funny guy and suddenly then the parents will
be like oh yeah Derek’s a great guy we always loved it
wouldn’t that be the Phantom oh yeah the well then I wouldn’t speak to him
anymore right how I do it this is your big moment
stage is yours good luck awesome alright here we go so
my parents are really weird my mom dresses up like my dad and my dad
dresses up like my mom their transferrin oh yeah they’re a real drag so I’ve been
wearing diapers recently you guys I usually only wear diapers for two
reasons number one and number two I’m going bananas is what I tell my bananas
before I leave the house I’m going bananas so I’m glad you guys
found that appealing I hate it when my friends ask me to do them a solid
especially when I’ve been eating grapes all day alright guys I’m gonna leave you
guys on a high note here so it’s a huge misconception that guys
are like dogs and women are like cats we have it backwards okay guys you’re like
cats you’re aloof and emotionally unavailable
women are exactly like dogs we’re exactly like dogs like hey where you
going where you we’re I’m gonna wait right here I’m gonna wait right here I’m
gonna wait right here I’m gonna wait right here I’m gonna wait right here I’m
gonna shoes see guys you’re like cats you’re like oh
you’re home okay so this is what’s gonna happen
you’re gonna feed me then I’m gonna stare with the window at nothing then
I’m gonna pass on the bathroom deal we have a deal hope women are like dogs we
clean up after ourselves right ladies you ever seen a dog vomit eats it right
back up usually does in a private eats enough no evidence you don’t even know
what’s happened guys you’re like cats you’ll just puke anywhere and make a
huge scene about it and then you’re like oh my god can you
clean that up it’s so gross I don’t want to touch it here comes a dog I got it I
got it I totally got it women are like dogs we need to be
groomed shampoo condition blow dry fluffy dry cancer like what I’m dirty
lender let’s go what an honor to be auditioning in front
of the best judges in the world here at America’s Got Talent but I have to say though it took me such
a long time to get here in front of you when I first got here and saw the line
of people waiting to audition my father said to me wow this is so much longer
than I expected it to be the last time I heard those words I was in my doctor
getting a physical I have some exciting news I just had my first date a girl
from my class came over to my house the other day and as her mother was leaving
she told my friend remember you’re allergic to nuts all I can think all I
can think to myself was well there go my plans for the afternoon for a long time I wanted to be a circus
performer and my parents even sent me to circus camp I learned how to juggle how
to ride a unicycle and I came home from camp one day telling my mother I wanted
to learn a new trick I wanted to learn how to be a sword swallower she said no
way we’ll let you do other things we’re not gonna let you be a sword swallower
so I was upset and I want to talk to my dad about this he said I’m not surprised
your mother hasn’t been interested in sword swallowing since we got engaged was in the circus hello my name is Leo littell I am 15
years old and I’m single I’ve been single let’s see here pretty much my
whole life pretty sure it’s because I’m unemployed I look at home with my
parents and I don’t have a car these are all big red flags it’s why I
don’t get much attention on match.com I do however have a lot of success on
tinder where I am a buff 28 year old Georgetown medical student with a
portion a trust fund now I’m a teenager so I’m in that awkward phase of life I’m
kind of a mutant creature part adult part child but I look back on the early
years of childhood fondly you know those good old memories like when you get in
the van and turns out the man doesn’t have any candy of course nowadays candy
won’t cut it we’re in the 21st century you need something like free Wi-Fi doubt
the ante that’s really all the kid wants anymore speaking from experience
and I want to thank my mom and dad for being so supportive of my comedy my mom
helps me book gigs and my dad helps me write my material so I like to think I’m
pretty far along in the entertainment industry because I’ve got two things
that a lot of people strive to have I have a Jewish writer and my agent is a
girl I used to sleep with Wow
what’s your name and where you from my name is Scott heuerman and I’m from like
I don’t even know them and I’m from Lexington Kentucky what are you gonna be
doing for us today I’m going to be doing comedy do you always dress up when you
do your comedy um usually I just dressed up if I’m like at home cooking or
cleaning but are you making a living with comedy no I’m a pizza delivery boy you deliver pizza do you do dress like
this no i’m doing pizza like twelve inches of snow in kentucky but i key i
have the pink eyebrow always so I deliver pizza with a little bit of
something but not a lot are you single because Nick’s newly
single I think we should go on a date look at his shoes they’re sparkly as
mine look go for it I can’t wait okay well hello everybody so a little bit
about me I’m adopted which basically means my original family
said no thank you my sister’s actually adopted too my mom
can’t have kids because she’s emotionally unavailable for committed
relationships my sister growing up was the golden child like when she graduated
high school my parents threw her a huge party and I got nothing when I dropped
out they’re always like Scott why can’t you be more like your sister I’m like
how’s this but actually I haven’t always looked
like this true story starring me I used to be 300
pounds can you believe it yes Malby yes Heidi can you believe I believe you I
miss being fat you know I miss being able to wear a t-shirt and sweatpants to
formal events and people being totally fine with that you know okay you know
was really jealous of growing up besides skinny people and kids whose parents
kept them too the Girl Scouts I was in the Boy Scouts
my mom signed me up for Boy Scouts but while the Girl Scouts were sipping soda
over at the Holiday Inn Express watching The Little Mermaid for their marine time
under the sea funtime patch I was in the middle of buck-toothed Kentucky trying
to survive off testosterone and trail mix talking about power up boys we
brought you out here to teach you survival skills oh really
why don’t you teach me how to do my taxes why would you teach me how to deal
with a breakup text okay down I’m okay with with with my with my voice
but I still struggle with some some things like like like I have the hardest
time at a drive-thru you know gets busy cuz you got you got to say that sale
order or vast and you’re doing it and you’re talking through an intercom like
I don’t know why I I would work there oh I wouldn’t I wanna get you to wear a
bib bib Asda start to use me mm-hmm my voice is as the voice of their GPS it’s
like it in in one-one thousand dollars a thousand feet make make make make a
u-turn Jurgis does does the name nation is is
either I have had ahead of you on the are on her own on the right or it with
me review you told you you you turn yes you sure he’s the guy I believe that you get in turn and then
anything and to do positive that’s why I’m here but I’ve come along some to
some people who don’t think they think that like I did a shirt show one time
where where a guys do a double it’s like hey you you you can’t just make fun
disabilities just cuz you you have have woman house house they I was like well
did I start there then they thank you guys so so so much the while the crowd is definitely with you
drew you know it is such a hard thing to get up on a stage when you’ve got
everything going for you and everything’s clear and to go up there
with your situation and to pull this off and to get the crowd with you is almost
impossible so I along with the audience applaud you for that really awesome what I love about you is you’ve taken
your situation and like you said you’ve turned it into a positive I was laughing
even more the fact that you were laughing at your own joke how he would
you think all right here’s what I thought I know you’re here to make
people laugh but I can’t tell you how emotional you make me because comedy
usually comes from a dark place a lot of comedians you know are depressed
I am personally in my life of use laughter to try to gain some happiness
what you did is you looked for the light at the end of the darkness and that
light is your comedy and I’m telling you I haven’t been moved by an act like this
up until this moment and because of you and because of this moment I want to do
something very special something I haven’t had a chance to do and I’d like
to do this for everyone
it doesn’t know what’s going on Howie Mandel just hit the coat and buzzer and
you my friend are going straight to the live shows at Radio City how’s it feel
oh good good Oh uhit’s a golden buzzer you are worth a million dollars I want
to see you at Radio City Music Hall I’m gonna see you at Radio City Music Hall

Stephen Childs

100 Comments

  1. I am going to wait right here 4times shoes that made me laugh πŸ˜‚ so hard hahahahah

  2. 15:12 i habe a big respect on that guyπŸ™πŸ»πŸ‘πŸ»

  3. okay so i was laughing at the guy Drew that was studdering bc of his jokes then i just noticed that he has a disability so now i feel bad but yk what hes not alone bc i got one too but different than his πŸ™

  4. My fav is the woman talking about cats and dogsπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ’€

  5. So TRUE…. Until now I'm REALIZING this lol dwl πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ we are like dogs.. From now on i will stop calling men DOGS..

  6. Over–laughing Lady asking "Are you gay?"
    Seriously: ΒΏ WtF ! !

  7. Drew and Sam J Camroe were friend but Drew β€˜lynched’ and backstabbed Sam for personal glory.. Hate Drew! That kid is faker!

  8. Whats the name of the woman that talked about women being dogs and men being cats?!?!?!?!?

  9. i love drew, i watch his channel and i see that he has progressed over time

  10. Drew Lynch is hilarious. Hes killin it in comedy nowadays. I imagine it would be hard not to like him

  11. The guy at 15:13 has a cute laugh
    Then you here mine it sounds like someone is laughing and is constipated!

  12. When the laughter intensifies in a wave when the slower people like me get it

  13. I don't understand how they can find that one guys girlfriend in the middle of the whole crowd, I just don't understand (the security guard one)

  14. Josh should be erased, I couldn't even understand what he said. Lori, great, top 3. Guy after Lori (Idiot poster edited out his intro) very funny and clever tricks with language. Derrick hilarious, excellent timing, concise jokes. Camera showed his GF often, beautiful gal (Is it sexist to call someone a gal?). I didn't know millennial women like long-hair guys. Jodi too much about eating vomit, put me off my dinner. Leo, age 15, very sharp, but needs more material. Scott the drag queen was boring, nothing but trans jokes. Drew was brilliant, but needs some non-stutter jokes.

  15. Drew lynch was really funny I understand it bcs i have a friend that has the same thing

  16. Cool πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…πŸ©πŸ©πŸ©πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ˜˜πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ€£πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜‡πŸ˜†πŸ”₯πŸ”₯πŸ€£πŸ€šπŸΏβœŒοΈπŸ€šπŸΏβœŒοΈβœŒοΈπŸ˜…πŸ˜…πŸ˜ƒπŸ˜…πŸ˜ƒπŸ”₯πŸ™πŸ˜”πŸ˜”πŸ˜’πŸ˜’πŸŽƒπŸ˜»πŸŽƒπŸ˜ΊπŸ˜ΊπŸ˜ˆπŸ˜ˆπŸ‘ΏπŸ‘ΉπŸ’©πŸ‘½πŸ‘ΊπŸ‘ΉπŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ’πŸ‘‚πŸΌπŸ˜¨πŸ˜©

  17. β€œI’m going bananas, that’s what I tell my bananas when I’m leaving.”

    Why would you tell them anything! They are nosy.

  18. Drew has grown so much πŸ’› I clicked on this video cause he was in the thumbnail and I hadn’t gotten round to watching his audition. This is so emotional and ahhh I’m so happy for him and proud of him because how far he’s come now. He’s made a ton of my days and I thank AGT for that, for letting him show us his talent, even when he has a disability that can make his career choice so much more difficult πŸ˜­πŸ’›

  19. What an emotional and lovely ending β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️β™₯️

  20. Howie is cool dude. He can relate to those with disabilities because he has OCD.

  21. Drew is that person you just want to give a big hug, so happy he got the golden buzzer ☺️

  22. Any one in 2019 who’s seen this girl in a Netflix show called no good nick?

  23. Ok how bout we update this and add Samuel j Comroe and Jackie fabulous

  24. i legit started crying when howie pressed the button even though i have seen this so many times

  25. 6:23 Poor guy… just doesn't do it for me.. Either he is scared out of his mind about being on stage or that's how he is all the time.. Speaking in a monotone voice.. No emotion in his act.. Takes guts to get up there on stage.. Applaud him for his courage. But I was left feeling empty by his performance.

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