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The Real Reason Donald Trump Hates Bette Midler


MONSTERS ARE THOSE PEOPLE? SPEAKING OF MONSTERS, PRESIDENT TRUMP IS IN EUROPE RIGHT NOW. HE’S SPENT THE PAST THREE DAYS IN LONDON. HE’S NOW AT HIS GOLF CLUB IN IRELAND. THAT’S NOT A JOKE. HE IS. TODAY HIS MAJESTY JOINED THE QUEEN TO COMMEMORATE THE 75th ANNIVERSARY OF D-DAY. HE AGREED TO ATTEND BECAUSE HE THOUGHT THE D STOOD FOR DONALD. THE PRESIDENT SAT BETWEEN THE QUEEN AND HIS WIFE MELANIA. HE DIDN’T USE THE WORD THREESOME EVEN ONE TIME. HE SPOKE FOR ABOUT A MINUTE BUT MADE THE MOST OF THAT MINUTE READING SELECTIONS FROM A PRAYER THAT WAS FIRST DELIVERED BY FDR ALMOST 75 YEARS AGO TO THE DAY.>>THIS DAY HAVE SET UPON A MIGHTY ENDEAVOR. A STRUGGLE TO PRESERVE OUR REPUBLIC, OUR RELIGION AND OUR CIVILIZATION AND TO SET FREE A SUFFERING HUMANITY.>>Jimmy: AM I STILL ON, HE INSULTED HIS ENEMIES BACK HOME V VIA TWITTER. HE WENT AFTER JOE BIDEN, THE MEDIA. IT’S ALWAYS GREAT TO SPEND D-DAY WORRYING ABOUT THE VICIOUS ATTACKS AGAINST HIM. BUT BEFORE HE LAID HIS YELLOW HEAD ON THE PILLOW HE PICKED A FIGHT WITH BETTE MIDLER. HE WROTE WASHED UP PSYCHO BETTE MIDLER WAS FORCED TO APOLOGIZE FOR A STATEMENT SHE ATTRIBUTED TO ME THAT TURNED OUT TO BE TOTALLY FABRICATED BY HER IN ORDER TO MAKE JUYOUR GREAT PRESIDENT LOOK REALLY BAD. SHE GOT CAUGHT, JUST LIKE THE FAKE MEDIA GETS CAUGHT, A SICK SCAMMER. HE HAD A ROYAL DINNER WITH PRINCE CHARLES. HE WENT BACK TO HIS HOTEL, AND THIS IS WHAT, HE’S THINKING ABOUT BETTE MIDLER RETWEETING SOMETHING. HE LISTENS TO THE TRIBUTES, TO THE TROOPS WHO ATTACKED THE GERMANS ON THE BEACHES OF NORMANDY AND WHAT DOES HE DO? HE ATTACKS THE STAR OF THE MOVIE “BEACHES.” BECAUSE THE ONLY BEACH DONALD TRUMP WOULD STORM — [ APPLAUSE ] — IS SPRING BREAK IN DAYTONA. THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME HE’S LASHED OUT AT BETTE MIDLER. THIS HAS GONE ON FOR YEARS. HE CRITICIZED HER LOOKS, HER SINGING, HER APPEARANCE ON THE OSCARS. I DON’T KNOW WHERE THIS ANIMOSITY CAME FROM. I THINK I FIGURED IT ALL OUT. IT STARTS WITH A POPULAR MOVIE FROM 1993, “HOCUS-POCUS”. IT BEGINS IN 1693 DURING THE SALEM WITCH TRIALS. SHE PLAYS WINNIE, ONE OF THREE WITCHES WHO ARE SISTERS, THE SANDERSON SISTERS. W WINNIE, MARY AND SARAH SANDERSON. AS IN, WHAT’S THE NAME OF HIS PRESS SECRETARY? SARAH HUCKABEE SANDERS. YOU KNOW WHERE THE MOVIE WAS FILMED? WITTIER, CALIFORNIA, WHICH IS THE HOME OF NONE OTHER THAN RICHARD NIXON, AS YOU CAN SEE IN THIS WELCOME HOME DICK PIC. RICHARD NIXON WAS THE LAST PRESIDENT TO BE IMPEACHED BY A WITCH HUNT. AT THIS POINT YOU’RE PROBABLY SAYING BIG DEAL, THESE ARE A BUNCH OF RANDOM CONNECTIONS. I STILL HAVEN’T SHOWN YOU WHAT PRESIDENT TRUMP WOULD CALL THE SMOCKING GUN. THE FATHER IN THE MOVIE “HOCUS-POCUS” IS PLAYED BY CHARLES ROCKET, WHO IS A CAST MEMBER ON “SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE,” A SHOW THAT REGULARLY ATTACKS DONALD TRUMP, A SHOW GOING INTO ITS 45th SEASON, NUMBER 45. HMM. WHICH PRESIDENT IS DONALD TRUMP? NUMBER 45. ♪ ♪ [ APPLAUSE ] ARE YOU WITH ME ON THIS?>>YES.>>Jimmy: NOW, WAIT, THERE’S ABOUT A HALF HOUR MORE. CHARLES ROCKET WAS ALSO IN THE MOVIE “MURDER AT 1600”, WHICH IS ABOUT A PRESIDENT WHO COVERS UP HIS SON’S ILLEGAL ACTIVITIES. THAT FILM STARS WESLEY SNIPES. WHAT HAPPENS TO WESLEY SNIPES AFTER THAT MOVIE? HE WENT TO PRISON! BECAUSE OF WHAT? HIS TAX RETURNS! IT’S A BOMBSHELL. I HAVEN’T TOLD YOU THE CHARACTER PLAYED IN HOCUS-POCUS. DAVID DENISON. IT’S THE ALIAS DONALD TRUMP USED TO PAY OFF THE PORN STAR, STORMY DANIELS. DAVID DENISON, DONALD TRUMP, EMBROILED IN A WITCH HUNT FOR PAYING OFF A PORN STAR WHILE USING THE NAME OF A CHARACTER IN A MOVIE ABOUT A WITCH-HUNT, AND THAT IS WHY HE HATES BETTE MIDLER! [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] I THINK. I THINK. [ APPLAUSE ] SO WHILE HE WAS IN ENGLAND, TRUMP SAT FOR AN INTERVIEW WITH HIS FORMER CELEBRITY APPRENTICE, PIERS MORGAN WHERE AMONG MANY SUBJECTS, HE TOUCHED ON THE IMAGINARY BONE SPURS THAT KEPT OUR PRESIDENT OUT OF VIETNAM.>>YOU WERE NOT ABLE TO SERVE IN VIETNAM BECAUSE OF A BONE SPUR CONDITION IN YOUR FEET. DO YOU WISH YOU’D BEEN ABLE TO SERVE? WOULD YOU HAVE LIKED TO SERVE YOUR COUNTRY?>>I WAS NEVER A FAN OF THAT WAR, I’LL BE HONEST WITH YOU. I THOUGHT IT WAS A TERRIBLE WAR, VERY FAR AWAY. YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT VIETNAM, AND AT THAT TIME NOBODY EVER HEARD OF THE COUNTRY.>>Jimmy: HE WAS NEVER A FAN, IT WAS SO FAR AWAY. NOBODY’D HEARD OF THE COUNTRY. NOW IF WE’D GONE TO WAR WITH KABUL I WOULD HAVE BEEN RIGHT THERE. THERE’S A LONG-STANDING TRADITION WHEN YOU HAVE A CONVERSATION WITH THE ROYAL FAMILY YOU KEEP IT PRIVATE. HE DID NOT DO THAT. HE WAS SUPPOSED TO MEET PRINCE CHARLES FOR IS15 MINUTES. THEY ENDED UP TALKING ABOUT CLIMATE CHANGE. EVEN THOUGH THEY SPOKE FOR AN HOUR AND A HALF, TRUMP WAS ABLE TO BOIL THE PRINCE’S POSITION ON GLOBAL WARMING DOWN TO ONE VERY OBVIOUS SENTENCE.>>HE WANTS TO MAKE SURE FUTURE GENERATIONS HAVE CLIMATE THAT IS GOOD CLIMATE AS OPPOSED TO A DISASTER.>>Jimmy: HMM, RIGHT. PRINCE WANTS TO MAKE SURE WE HAVE CLIMATE THAT IS GOOD CLIMATE AS OPPOSED TO A DISASTER. IT’S FAIR, IT’S OKAY TO DISAGREE. IF PRINCE CHARLES IS SMART HE WOULD HAVE TALKED EXCLUSIVELY ABOUT THE IMPACT ON THE FRIED CHICKEN INDUSTRY. WHILE WE’RE ON THE SUBJECT OF CLIMATE CHANGE. I THINK WE FOUND THE PRESIDENT’S NEXT HEAD OF THE APA, THIS IS FROM SCRANTON, PENNSYLVANIA WHERE ON OCCASION THEY WILL TURN THE NEWS OVER TO THE VIEWERS WHO ARE PERMITTED TO SHARE THEIR THOUGHTS.>>WE DIDN’T HAVE TORNADOERS HERE UNTIL WE STARTED PUTTING IN TRAFFIC CIRCLES. WHEN PEOPLE GO ROUND IN ROUND IN CIRCLES IT CAUSES DISTURBANCE IN THE ATMOSPHERE AND CAUSES TORNADOS.>>Jimmy: HE’S RIGHT. HE’S TOTALLY, THAT IS WHAT CAUSES. [ APPLAUSE ] AND YOU KNOW WHAT CAUSES TIDAL WAVES? THAT GOSH DARN BABY SHARK SONG! I MENTIONED TOMORROW IS THE 75th ANNIVERSARY OF D-DAY, WHEN ALLIED FORCES LANDED ON THE BEACHES OF NORMANDY TO DEFEAT THE NAZIS. THE PRESIDENT WILL BE IN NORMANDY TO COMMEMORATE THE OCCASION, AND IT’S IMPORTANT THAT WE REMEMBER THAT FATEFUL DAY. TO HONOR THAT PRESIDENT, FRANKLIN DELANO ROOSEVELT AND THE PRESIDENT NOW WE ASKED STUDENTS TO STAGE A LESSON FOR AUDIENCES OF ALL AIMS. I AM PROUD TO PRESENT THIS TRIBUTE WITH A CAPITAL T, TO D-DAY, THEN AND NOW. ♪ ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]>>IT WAS 1944. NAZI GERMANY WAS GAINING CONTROL. THEY HAD IMPRISONED AND KILLED MILLIONS OF JEWS AND THREATENING WORLD DOMINATION. CHURCHILL AND I WERE COMMITTED TO STOPPING HITLER.>>IT WAS 2019. BETTE MIDLER TWEETED SOMETHING MEAN ABOUT ME.>>WE HAD SEPTEMNT 155,000 BRAV U.S., CANADIAN AND BRITISH TROOPS TO NORMANDY.>>I SENT THESE TWO TINY THUMBS ONTO TWITTER TO CALL BETTE MIDLER A WASHED-UP PSYCHO.>>IT WAS A GREAT VICTORY FORT ALLIED FORCES.>>IT WAS A GREAT VICTORY FOR ME, DONALD JENNIFER TRUMP. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE] FAKE NEWS!>>Jimmy: AND THANK YOU, CHILDREN. AND LET THAT BE A LESSON TO ALL.>>BEST SEGMENT EVER!

Stephen Childs

100 Comments

  1. Why why why !!!!! Man people you Voted for this Sick Thing ๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก๐Ÿ˜ก

  2. Trump "never a fan" of the Vietnam War, unlike all the people who served and died or came back without limbs or with PTSD. They were all like, "Vietnam or Disney World. If I had to choose…"

  3. when he reads something famous, it's SOOOO like the simple kid in high school who was asked to read a Shakespeare passage. No idea what it means, just reading words with less emotion than a robot.

  4. He probably gets wet dreams of her and mad he didn't get to grope the beauty. He crazy. He can't get it up

  5. You Should be ashamed. I Saw vรญdeos from 2004 where you treat woman real badly on TV show, the man show

  6. If people going round and round in circles causes tornados, they need to stop nascar NOW! to date this year 519 tornados. Heheheheheheheh

  7. I just heard that President Trump got VD by having anal sex with the Pope

  8. Because she wasn't the wind beneath his wings ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† ๐Ÿ˜† only the wind through his wig ๐Ÿ‘ด TRUMP = ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ”๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ

  9. Get Kevin Bacon and the Annunaki into that and you'll explain everything.

  10. Trump dooes not hate Bette Midler. Bette Midler hates Trump. Another celebrity on the assembly line.

  11. Genius episode

  12. she is just another liberal pot stirring jew slut, no biiggie a dime a dozen…

  13. I love how these tossers are so triggered by Trump Trump 2020 Best President ever

  14. I not a fan of war because theyโ€™re in foreign countries and Iโ€™m a coward!

  15. Roundabouts cause tornados? Wow, how old is that ignoramus? What is taught in the US about science and meteorology?

  16. Damn glad that war wasn't close to home…what an idiot ๐Ÿคจ๐Ÿคจ๐Ÿคจ๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿฅถ๐Ÿฅถ

  17. I bet Trump is mad merely because the Queen mentioned what a big star Bette Middler is, and that Trump couldn't carry a tune in a bucket.

  18. Mr. Trump wouldn't hit on that ugly mutt. Sorry, but she's a nasty looking c**t ! I might let my dog screw her.

  19. Roger. Trump don't hit on nobody…he gropes everybody just some don't accept it the others he marries them…that's his MO!

  20. The fact Trump is the president and the efficiency of HR there'd be a great joke only if it weren't happening in a country that was once the greatest in the world until 2016.

  21. Midler is a low class nobody just like the rest of that Hollywood liberal bunch! You brainwashed or brain dead supporters of the corrupt Democratic Party are just as classless! Too stupid to realize when youโ€™re better off! The moral majority is fed up with you anti American liberals!

  22. So terribly relieved to have all these minimysteries cleared up. ๐Ÿ˜ฅ

  23. ๐Ÿ–ฑ๐Ÿง™๐Ÿพโ€โ™‚๏ธ๐Ÿง™โ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ“ผ๐Ÿ–ฒ๐Ÿ‘โ›ฉ

  24. Damn!! That much research would have the researcher fell in love with the subject

  25. I don't believe Donald Trump hates Bette Midler like the rest of us we feel sorry for her

  26. Did you just play the tackiest "6 Degrees of Separation"? Sounds like Trump

  27. Well, Trump was never a fan of the Viet Nam war! So that's why he developed bone spurs! But all the other 18 year old guys WERE fans and WANTED to go get killed or crippled. Now we understand it. ๐Ÿ˜ ๐Ÿ˜ก

  28. I have a theory about why Trump hates Bette Midler. Trumps first wife was Ivana who was in a movie with Bette Midler. Coincidence or what?!

  29. His got the worst fitting suits ever. Does he not have a good tailor?

  30. I try to watch Jimmy but his hyper focus on President Trump gets old.

  31. This whole parody theory constructed out of random "six degrees of separation" stuff is about half as contrived and unbelievable as the sanest thing Alex Jones and his crew of stalking goofballs have ever come up with.

  32. The kid has trump down pat fake hair and all ^^, Sadly the acting kid would make our country better if we could lose the orange and red menace ^^

  33. No bullshit or apologies here. Every filthy liberal traitor should be "silenced".
    You commie liberal trash wanna step up? Please do.
    Slander is all you're capable of. Go ahead and send your pussy antifa soldiers to the streets to riot…come to Ohio. ๐Ÿ˜˜

  34. Bette Midler is the ugliest monster out there. Her poor ugly daughter looks just like her and has nothing but being her ugly mother's daughter going for her.

  35. God he speaks as if his constipated old n very boring! Dah, Dan, Dan crusty boring voice

  36. Bette needs to seek help. She has tweeted about Trump for over 400 days strait. He lives in her head.

  37. What about the movie "The Dead Zone"? Many predictions in that movie.

  38. WTH cars going in circles starts tornadoes. Bette Midler? Just what ever comes to mind. Weโ€™re in sad times. ๐Ÿ˜ž

  39. They broke the mold when they made tRump.

    They had to, because it was cracked when they started.

  40. Now thatโ€™s some great investigative reporting! Fox โ€œNewsโ€ take a note. LoL

  41. The real reason little feel my crotch jimmy and bette hate President Trump. President Trump doesn't like them. They are envious of President Trump. They're mad he didn't run as a dumb diddly dumb ass demmyrat. They hate him because his tweets attract so much attention. They are jealous over his Twitter acumen. Ugly 70 something held together by plastic surgery bette demands Jack Dorsey suspend his account. Like all far left fascists and communists posing as demmyrats that want all normal people, Patriots, Christians, conservatives, nationalists, proud American citizens, middle class working people, normal husband and wife, man and woman, 2 gender sane families with children shut down so they'll have a chance to steal the election. Sorry little jimmy and ugly bette, it ain't happening. Trump is gonna crush whomever the marxists put in there.

  42. I love my president!! Trump2020 MAGA HOW CAN YOU PEOPLE LISTEN TO THIS DEGENERATE SUBHUMAN?!?

  43. He just said "preserve our religion" when he should have meant "preserve freedom of religion.: That is what America is about. People gave their lives and went on a dangerous path to forge their way to a land where they would have freedom of religion and no longer be forced into the state's religion. They gave and risked their lives for this basic right in the new land.

  44. Donald riding on a toilet is absolutely perfect! ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿšฝ

  45. Two things.
    1) I love the suit the FDR kid is wearing.
    2) You can't argue with that logical stream about the Bette Midler vs. Donald Trump.

    Jimmy Kimmel should be on at 3:00 AM soliciting funds for some marginal religious sect.

  46. jimmy cried fake tears talking bout his childs sickness, bet he is not on obama care.

  47. This lowlife comic stands there and tears into the duly elected president of America.

  48. Why in the fu_k is his not liking Bette Midler even a story! He's the President of the US! Trump is bad example of Presidential material.
    What a shxtstain of America!

  49. Washed up Bette Midler mr. president, she has more accomplishments than you will never have.

  50. Bette Midler is such a Queen, there's nothing he could say or do that would have any effect on her life.

  51. I bet he tried to come on to her, or assault her & she laid him out soundly..

  52. Jimmy kimmel is nothing more than an Asswhipe, just like the Asswhipes who listen too him.๐Ÿคก๐Ÿ”ซ๐Ÿท๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธTrump 2020 ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿ‡ธ

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