COACH: Alright time out, time out! We are falling apart out there! We’re down a hundred! Jenny, where’s the defence? JENNY: I’m six! COACH: And Roger, where’s the hustle? ROGER: My sciatica’s been acting up. And my wife died. TEAM:… Continue Reading
MARK: I’m kinda nervous to meet your parents. SHARON: Don’t worry hon, they’ll love you. Dad! MOM: Oh, hi Mark! Nice to finally meet you. MARK: Likewise! Oh, and this must be Tyler. Hey Tyler! High five! Hahaha, ow… that… Continue Reading
I got to do some international shows this year I performed in Japan for the first time which was amazing. I mean I wasn’t in Japan just for stand-up, I was also modeling. I wish that wasn’t that funny but…… Continue Reading
Now the story of an unpopular government, And the one man who claimed he’d make the country better. It’s elected malevolence.
Sometimes I feel like I’m trying to get fat Last night I was eating a pint of ice cream and I finished it because I’m American, alright? I took off the lid and I threw it away, because I’m not… Continue Reading
>>Russell Peters: My daughter is pretty smart. I uh– I’m impressed by her. She’s only two, and she’s already speaking Spanish and English. Which is impressive, to me. I wanted her to learn Spanish, first, because, first of all, she’s… Continue Reading
Empty your mind, feel your feet connect with the ground, and now stretch your arms out to the side towards the windowsill that you didn’t have time to dust and the sink full of dishes that are apparently invisible to… Continue Reading
A new poll says that the majority of Canadians feel that Canada is broken. What? Just ’cause the stock market is down, the railroad is on fire, and the Leafs lost to a zamboni driver? Okay maybe it is. But… Continue Reading