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New Holidays – 3/3/2018


Okay okay okay, looks like we’re all
here. We have some congratulations to go around. Marisa: National Banana Cream Pie
Day, brilliant success. Oh, thank you. Several to the face several down the
gullet, that was the goal. Attained! And Paula, National Grammar Day? That was a
doozy saw posts about all over social media. Me think it good real good. Oh! See what you did there! [Laughter] So let’s get to it okay: new holidays. Who’s got ideas? I got one. National
Ampersand Day. A holiday to celebrate a beautiful punctuation mark – I gotta stop you
there Frank that’s September 8th. Really? Yeah already exists. Good thought though. Yeah. Any more ideas? Anybody? Anyone? What about you, Paula? Oh I’ve got one! Uh, National Chocolate-covered Anything Day. What a great excuse to dip everything in sight in some delicious dark chocolate – actually, that one is December 16th. No way. Yes way, uh huh. How about National Heimlich Maneuver
Day? A lifesaving – June 1st yeah. National Personal Trainer Awareness Day? January 2nd. Oh really, right after New Year’s? When else? I guess yeah. National I Love My Feet Day. August 17th Uh, National Pro-life Cupcake Day. October 9th. Seriously? Yeah. I just put two words together I don’t even know that means. Well it is nonetheless already a national holiday so. I give up. National Nothing Day. January 16th which is also National Fig Newton Day. As it turns out. I hate my job. Don’t tell me that’s already a national holiday. Actually it isn’t a national holiday. Really? It’s an international
holiday! Ohhhh. International I Hate My Job Day, February
24th. Right before National Clam Chowder Day. I can’t believe this, is it possible that we’re done here? I mean have we suggested
every single possible holiday idea? Time to shut it all down? I don’t know, I’m
feeling kind of emotional about this even though National Crying Day isn’t until
the end of the June month. Oh wait I’ve got one. Tuesday. Huh I’m sorry? Tuesday. That’s my pitch. I’m not sure I follow. It’s just aren’t
we a little tired of everyday being National Hug a Hedgehog Day or National
Spaghetti Awareness Day? I personally enjoy being aware of spaghetti but I don’t – I’m just, I’m saying maybe for once we just designate a day as: Tuesday? I like it. National Tuesday Day. No! Just Tuesday. Ohhhh! Can it be on Wednesday? No. No. Tuesday will fall on a Tuesday. How will this Tuesday be celebrated? By just doing normal stuff you do. On
Tuesday. Ohhh! Marisa I think you may be on to something. I think you may be on to
something great. Maybe we could even do it weekly. Yes, exactly! Tuesday: the second work day of
the week. Celebrate it with your friends and family by doing whatever you would
normally do on a Tuesday. Brought to you by the Citizens for a Break from National Holidays. Radio Acting Company. Mr. Fred Newman, Tim Russell, Serena Brook, along with Mary Lynn Rajskub.

Stephen Childs

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