Abuse! Abuse! Abuse! You’re a wizard Harry… Yippee! Want to be friends? Sure! Want to be enemies? Sure! Want to be dead? Face hug! See ya later! You might be a Syltherin… I’m a Gryffindor! Dobby is free! You betrayed my parents! No! It was the rat! Expecto Patronum! What just happened here? This is not school appropriate! I got it! Avada Kadavra! Accio port key! Noooooooooo! The Dark Lord has not returned! He’s right there! Avada Kadavra! Stop it! Don’t tell lies! Draco is getting a tattoo! Care to join me on a fetch quest? Sure! Oh look! Torture poison! AAAAHHHHHHH! Expelliarmus! Hello Draco. Avada Kadavra! Nooooooo! This is boring! Hey check it out! Magic sword! Wicked! I’m awesome! Expelliarmus! But dad. What if I am put in Slytherin? Well son. If you are, I’m sure they’ll make a stage play about it… Hang on… You forgot Quidditch! That’s because Quidditch doesn’t matter Ron… Seven books. Eight movies. One stage play. What do you think is next? I think they should make a film series based on this text book. Ha! A film series based on a text book. That will never happen. Hmmm… It’s happening!