37

International Relations


CANADA!
USA! OH, HEY THERE.
IT’S BEEN AWHILE, HOW ARE YOUR PROVINCES? OH, THEY GROW UP SO FAST.
YOU KNOW, I GOT MY HANDS FULL WITH 10, I DON’T KNOW HOW YOU TAKE CARE OF 50 STATES.
YEAH, YOU KNOW, IT’S NOT EASY, THE SOUTHERN ONES WENT THROUGH A REBELLIOUS
PHASE. AND WHAT ABOUT THE ADOPTED ONES?
OH, ALASKA AND HAWAII? YEAH, I HAVEN’T TOLD THEM YET, BUT I THINK
THEY’VE FIGURED IT OUT BY NOW.
AND THE REALLY LOUD ONE? TEXAS IS STILL TEXAS.
OH, CANADA, WE SHOULD YOU KNOW, HANG OUT SOMETIME, MAYBE PLAY SOME BASEBALL
– PLAY SOME HOCKEY.
WHAT? WHAT’S BASEBALL?
[PHONE RINGING] OH, SORRY, I GOT TO GET THIS. OKAY.
CHINA, BABY, HOW’S IT GOING? YES, I KNOW I OWE YOU A LOT OF MONEY.
ALWAYS MAKING IT ABOUT MONEY. YOU KNOW WHAT, LISTEN.
I WILL GET IT TO YOU TOMORROW. DO YOU HAVE LIKE FOUR TRILLION DOLLARS
I COULD BORROW? WHAT AM I SAYING, YOU’RE CANADA.
OKAY, LISTEN. I WILL GIVE YOU MY WATCH UNTIL I CAN PAY.
THAT’S RIGHT, YOU DID MAKE THIS. CHINA, YOU CAN’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO.
OKAY, I WILL DO THAT, BYE. BESTIES, OH, HIDE ME.
WHAT? OH COME ON, YOU GUYS HAVEN’T
DATED SINCE ‘76. I KNOW, BUT IT’S SO AWKWARD.
WELL, I TOLD YOU TO BREAK UP WITH HIM IN PERSON, AND NOT OVER DECLARATION.
COME ON, YOU CAN DO THIS. I’VE GOT SOME HOCKEY STUFF TO PURCHASE.
OH, HI, USA, DIDN’T EVEN SEE YOU THERE, WHICH IS WEIRD, BECAUSE YOU’VE PUT
ON A LOT OF LAND. HI, BRITAIN.
YOU KNOW, I’VE JUST FELT SO FREE THE LAST FEW CENTURIES,
WHAT WITH THE BREAKUP AND ALL, NEVER LOOKED BACK.
YOU TRIED TO GET BACK TOGETHER IN 1812. YES, WELL, ANYWAY, I’VE JUST BEEN HAVING
SO MUCH SUCCESS LATELY, WITH THE BEATLES AND
HARRY POTTER AND DOWNTON ABBEY. I DON’T EVEN THINK ABOUT US ANYMORE.
THAT’S GREAT. TAKE ME BACK, PLEASE?
BRITAIN – IS IT ANOTHER MAN? IS IT FRANCE?
OH, GROSS, NO. [SPEAKING FRENCH] THEN WHAT IS IT?
GIVE ME A REASON. OKAY, YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?
I WILL TELL YOU – NORTH KOREA. HELLO FOREIGN SCUM.
[SPEAKING KOREAN] YOU WANT TO SEE? OH!
DO I OR DON’T I? JUST PAY ME SOME ATTENTION!
OKAY, I WILL TELL YOU WHY. WHEN WE DATED, THE SUN NEVER SET
ON YOUR CHEATING. YOU MADE A PASS AT EVERY COUNTRY YOU SAW!
AUSTRALIA, INDIA, BAHAMAS. MMM, BAHAMAS.
OKAY. AND THEN THERE’S JUST RESPECT, I CAN’T
DATE A GUY THAT I’VE BEATEN IN WAR.
OKAY, I WAS NOT TRYING MY HARDEST. DESPERATE, OKAY?
WE BROKE UP AND YOU FOUND EVERY EXCUSE YOU COULD
TO GET ME OVER, LIKE OH, USA, I’M HAVING A WAR,
OH, COME HELP ME, OH, USA. I’M HAVING ANOTHER WAR, OH, I’M HAVING
AN OLYMPICS, COME DESTROY ME IN EVERY EVENT.
OH. DESPERATE.
AM I RIGHT, SWITZERLAND? I’M STAYING OUT OF THIS.
LOOK ME IN THE EYES AND TELL ME YOU’RE OVER IT.
I’M OVER IT. OWIE.
LOOK, I CELEBRATE OUR BREAKUP WITH FIREWORKS, OKAY,
I BLOW THINGS UP. FINE, THEN.
I DON’T NEED YOU OR YOUR BAD CREDIT. OKAY, I DON’T NEED A BOYFRIEND WHO PLAYS
THE WRONG FOOTBALL. OH, RIGHT, I’LL SEE YOU LATER,
HAVE A GOOD OBESITY EPIDEMIC. GET A DENTAL PLAN.
WHICH WAY DID CANADA? THAT WAY.
OH, CANADA!

Stephen Childs

37 Comments

  1. "I can't date a guy I've beaten in war" pppfffttt hahahahahahah! France beat us love, not Americans, FRANCE! Without France America would be nothing, but they love to forget it.

  2. This NEEDS WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY more dislikes.

  3. I hate to break it to you, but Americans are the ones that play the wrong football

  4. You guys should check out "Scandinavia and the world" comic to see how the north kinda looks at it ^^ hehe

  5. WHAT MAKES AMERICAN PEOPLE THINK BRITISH PEOPLE TALK LIKE THAT WE DON'T AND IF I SEE ONE MORE VIDEO WITH THAT ACCENT I WILL GO CRAZY

  6. Actually the war thing is wrong cause america asked britain to join the iraq war in 2003

  7. Nice idea, concept and so on… first i dint get second a little third i was like "Wow..How com i dint get dis"..😂

  8. Mate, American football, isn't even played by the FEET.

    Maybe you should instead make a remark about taxes.

  9. Technically USA never won the war against the British it’s we were had so many colonies that we stopped bothering.

  10. I can't be the only one who can't hear Bahamas without think "mmmmm the Bahamas"

  11. 2013:
    2014:
    2015:
    2016:
    2017:
    2018:
    2019: alright i think everyone should watch this video now

  12. King George III: You'll be Back
    Matt: Please take me back!!!
    King George III: WHA- NOOO!!! YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO DO THAT!!! YOU DISGRACE!!!

  13. Well America plays the wrong football cause in the name it says "FOOT" ball which means that you use your foot which the Americans dont.

  14. The US is history's spoilt child, Britain went bankrupt defending them from France, and France went bankrupt defending them from Britain when they wanted their money back, and they've made fun of both of them ever since.

  15. Canadians invented baseball and hundreds of other things that the us of a takes credit for

  16. This is really funny but I feel like it should be more in relation to time so Britain is like that dad of america.

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