0

Back to School: Expectations vs Reality


[Captions by Y Translator]
EXPECTATIONS:
MEETING OLD FRIENDS Oh my god! Oh my god.
I miss you guys. Oh my god.
How was your holiday? Oh my god.
I hope we’re in the same class. REALITY:
MEETING OLD FRIENDS Oh my god! Oh my god! I can’t believe we have
new vending machine. Me first. Does anyone has a spare coin? EXPECTATIONS:
ENTERING THE SCHOOL This year, I’m gonna be
the best I can be. I am ready. This year is gonna be my year. REALITY:
ENTERING THE SCHOOL Let me go. I want to go home. I want to be homeschooled. Let me go, please. Leave me alone. You will never get me alive. You will never! Mommy! Help! Don’t let them take me. Help. Please save me, Mommy. I don’t wanna go. EXPECTATIONS:
PARENTS Okay, Hao Hao,
it is the start of the New Year. It’s time for you
to make good friends, get good grades, and then go
to a good University. Sweetie, go go go! You sure don’t want
to come with me, Mom? Darling, you’re a big boy now. Go. All right. See you tonight, Mom. Bye! Time to flex some of that Gucci. REALITY:
PARENTS Hey. Hao Hao. What? Where is mommy’s hug? Really Mom? How can you go
without hugging me? It has been a promise to me
since Primary one. It’s never going to change. Oh, there, there. Have fun in school, sweetie. Mommy loves you. I love you too, Mom. Say louder. I love you too, Mom. Mommy is old, I cannot hear. Louder. Just go home, Mom. How can you shout at Mommy? Not cool, man. You don’t love me anymore. You don’t love me anymore. I love you, Mom. Okay, I’ll just see you
at home tonight, okay? Hi Auntie. Hello. Who are you calling Auntie? Who is an Auntie? Are you blind? What class are you from? I’m not an Auntie yet. Are you blind? EXPECTATIONS:
NEW CLASSMATES Oh my gosh.
I’m so sorry. Let me help you with that. So sorry. I’m new here. Do you know where is class T1T5? Oh, class T1T5? Yeah, come with me. REALITY:
NEW CLASSMATES Class T1T5? Yeah, class T1T5. Eh, class T1T5. Ay, same class again. Why do I always get
such lame classmate? Ay, Class T1T5! New girls. Stand up. Hey girls, which class
are you in? We are in B00B5. I hate school. Hey, bro, can I
borrow a spare ruler? I have. EXPECTATIONS:
TIMETABLES Hey Cherylene, what’s
your timetable like? Class T1T5. And? First is English. Followed by Science. Okay. And then Hindi. Oh my gosh, same! And my favorite class
of the day, Maths! Because it’s the last
class of the day! Oh my gosh,
we have the same timetable! REALITY:
TIMETABLES Okay, so my first English. Maths for me, but okay, next? Next is science. I have Hindi. You’re taking Hindi? I’m taking Tagalog. That means we don’t have
any classes together. At leas we got recess together? I guess so. EXPECTATIONS:
INTRODUCING YOURSELF Hi Mr. Papadum. Hello Debbie. It’s nice to be
in your class again this year. I’m looking forward
to history lessons with you. What? I am your Chinese teacher. I will help you improve
your Mandarin level. Are you ready? Let’s go. REALITY:
INTRODUCING YOURSELF Kids nowadays. Don’t know how to greet
properly or what? What’s this? EXPECTATIONS:
RECESS So, what did you guys do
during your holidays? Oh my God, I have so
much to tell you guys. Okay, I went to Dubai. It was beautiful. Oh my gosh. I went to Dubai too. No way. We should have met up. Wait, we did. You guys should have come. It would have been so fun. Yo guys, we should plan
our next holiday together. When’s the next break? Oh my gosh, that sounds so fun! We totally should. REALITY:
RECESS So guys, I went to Dubai. Yeah, we saw it on Instagram. Oh, okay. Cool. EXPECTATIONS:
MAKING FRIENDS It’s going to take some time
to get used to this new school. I’m glad I’m not the only
new student here. Let’s stick together
the whole year. Let’s go. REALITY:
MAKING NEW FRIENDS Hi, can we sit here? Sure, but there’s only space
for one more person. Are you okay? Vince, are you coming or not? I don’t know what game
you’re trying to play, but you better stay away
from my boyfriend. Otherwise, you and I
are gonna have a problem. Got it? EXPECTATIONS:
GOING TO CLASS REALITY:
GOING TO CLASS Help! Where’s class T1T5? Jasmine, where is
the English class? Hello. Help me. Where am I? Am I even in the right school? I didn’t get enough
sleep last night. Help! EXPECTATIONS:
TEACHERS Hi class T1T5. Your form teacher Madam
Soot Beng is currently on maternity leave. So you will have replacement
teacher in the meantime. Hi class. Oh. No, no, no,
take out your phones. It’s 2019. I’m cool, I’m young,
and I’m woke. Alright. So I know how important it is
to post on your first day of school on the Instagrams. So if someone walks in, just pretend to act
busy, all right? Low-key, I got your backs. All right, so there’s
any issues just Tik Tok me. Yeah. Teacher, Tik Tok is an app. Yeah, yeah, chill chill. Let’s Netflix and chill. Hey, how about you just go on
with your lessons, yeah? Yeah. Yeah. Okay, cool. Cool. No doubt. REALITY:
TEACHERS Just because I’m pregnant, does not mean I
will let you all fail. Class stand. Good morning, Madam Soot Beng. Why is she always pregnant? I know right. Who would tap that? I’m pregnant, not deaf. Sit down. So class, please hand
in your homework, the one that I gave to you guys
over the winter break. Hi Madame Soot Beng,
about my homework. So basically, during the holidays,
I was overseas, and what happened was
there was an earthquake, and my homework
happened to be in a bag, which was in
a building that collapsed. So I pretty much
lost the homework. You lost your homework? Yeah. Give me your hand. Did you lose your homework,
or do you just not do it? I lost it. I don’t think teachers are
allowed to hit students anymore. It’s 2019. You know I’m just tough on you
because I hate you, right? Okay. Where’s your homework? EXPECTATIONS:
PARTNERS Okay class, for your first
assignment of the year, I would like you
guys to partner up. Yo Hao, you want to partner up? I can tell my mom that I’m going to your house
to do our assignment. Nah, you know what? This year, I’m
partnering with Denise, the top student in our school, man. 2019, I’m a changed man. No procrastination, man. Let’s go. Let’s do this. Education. Okay, but where’s Denise? Yeah, where is Denise? She’s is always
the first one here. REALITY:
PARTNERS Hey Denise, do you want to be
my partner for our assignment? Screw that, man. You all want to go
clubbing tonight? Clubbing? It’s a Monday. It’s the first day of school. Exactly. Nothing to study. No homework. What happened to Denise, man? Puberty, probably. When is your turn? It never came. EXPECTATIONS:
HOMEWORK Since today is
the first day of school, I’m not going to ask
too much from you guys. No homework today. Just go home,
get a good night’s sleep, and I’ll see all
of you tomorrow. Have an early day everyone. School’s out guys! REALITY:
HOMEWORK For today’s homework, I would like you guys
to complete pages 1 to 67, write a 1,600 word
essay on your thoughts of the US-China trade war, and its impact on our economy. No! So much homework
on the first day of school? Oh, hell no. I am not doing all of these. Madam Soot Beng,
this is too much. You are neglecting
the mental health of every single one
of us in class T1T5. So I suggest you take all
of these worksheets, and you stuff them up
on your pregnant ass. Denise! Millennials.

Stephen Childs

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *